Saturday, June 18, 2005

Death Row

With barely two days to go, I feel like someone on death row. Not that I've ever walked the green mile but it sort of seems like I'm walking the last days of my life. I don't mean to be over-dramatic but coming back to my old office seems like a punishment of sorts.

Just thinking about the stress that will be part of day-to-day life gives me anxiety attacks and constricts my air passages causing mild chest pains.

But I really should be thankful because I have a steady job. A part of me just seems to want something more. A more stable job, a sense of security, a life that is not in limbo.

Going back to the office offers more uncertainties than certainties. Yes, I have a guaranteed employer who will sponsor my working permit here but up to when can I stay there? The salary alone cannot provide for a person here in Geneva. The whole Geneva experience was supposed to be so I could get a good enough job to support myself and possibly my family.

I don't know what will happen in the next few days or the following months or even in the ensuing year. I am just hoping and praying that it will be a good progression of things.

No comments: