Calling ...

It's hard to know what's your purpose in life. Some people know exactly what they wanted to be from such a young age. But for me, I wanted to be a doctor. But it was not to be. I realised that I might have not had the personality for it. 

But as I write and even reading the chapeau to my blog, I am a writer. I would always feel a certain rush and sometimes when what I write is inspired, I feel goosebumps and my heart races. It's a wonderful feeling because in that moment, you know what you're supposed to do. 

So, I am a writer but I don't yet have any published books. I am praying that I will get the inspiration to write one. I already have an outline and the material for an autobiography but it's not yet edited. So, I pray that I will get inspiration soon to write some more or edit that one. 

Knowing what to do or knowing your purpose starts with a call. What are you drawn to? What are you happy doing? What would you do for free? These are questions that are usually asked when you are discerning. I still ask these questions over and over again. But what I ask more often is: God, what do you want me to do for you? How can I use my talents to glorify you? 

Recently, I received a call from a distressed friend. I listened. I offered advice where it was warranted and when asked but mostly I listened. This is also something I feel I was called to do. I can be a chatterbox but I can also listen. During my travels, I am usually approached by strangers and they start telling me their life stories. I find it amazing. Even if sometimes I feel like asking them, "Why are you telling me all this?" I never do. I know they just need to get it off their chest. 

So, I don't know what God really wants me to do with my life but I hope in answering His "calls", I can be of service to Him and my neighbours. 

What are you called to or what are you drawn to? What is your purpose? May God grant you the answer as He guides you. 

Pruning

The hardest part of being a gardener is the time for pruning. Sometimes, as a gardener we don't want to cut our plants or branches because we feel it will hurt the plant. At least that is how it was for me. But having read and watched so many videos on the importance of pruning, I see that it is a necessary hurt to be inflicted. It comes from a place of good intention not a bad one. 

Just like with God. I've read the passages where Jesus speaks in parables of how the gardener cuts off dead branches or unproductive branches and prunes the productive ones. The cutting off of the branches puts back the energy or allocates the energy of the plant to a place where it should produce new growth. Without pruning, there can be no new growth. And with pruning, the growth comes back with a vigour because it sends a signal to the plant to push out new growth without the hassle of unproductive branches sucking the energy of the plant. 

As with life, there are certain things that need to be counted as dead branches. Chapters that need closing, habits that need dropping and just a general letting go. It is not to say that those branches were useless but that they had run their course and the plant needs to concentrate on new growth in a new area of its life. Take for example a currant bush. It only produces fruit on the new growth. So, the old branches where last season's fruits hung should be cut back completely. This lets the plant concentrate its energy on producing more fruit on the new branches. Without the pruning, you will end up with a bush with not much fruit. 

Sometimes, we need to focus our energy on what produces fruit in our lives. What is it that makes your life worth living? What would you focus your energy on that would give you back all the effort you put into it? What would make you happy? 

These are questions that cannot be answered now but take a moment to look at your "tree". Where am I growing the most? Where am I bearing fruit? What branch should I cut off? 

As a gardener, I look at my plants daily and see how they are growing. It is in this space of reflection that allows me see what needs to be done next. But the space must exist where one can reflect. In life, this may be the time of prayer. Prayer is not an ATM machine where you can ask God for favours. It is a space where you take stock of what has happened in the day and look back at all the blessings, challenges and opportunities for growth. It is a time to ask God "How can I glorify you with what I have? What needs pruning, what needs cutting? Where should I grow next?" Prayer is the space where pruning happens. It is in prayer that we learn to lift up to God the areas of our life that needs to be reviewed and whether indeed they should be cut or pruned. 

I hope this Sunday, where in some countries the Feast of Ascension is celebrated, we can lift up our prayers to God and ask Him to prune us so that we can grow more vigorously and produce more fruit that will glorify Him. 

Surrendering to Your will ... reflection on Discipleship

I was asked to meditate on discipleship. What is it to be your disciple? First, you called. You called us by name. It was up to us to respond to You. We responded to Your call yet we were still unsure where You will take us. We follow and we observe. We see that you are setting an example. You love with mercy and You forgive without hesitation. You heal without cost and You glorify Your father.

 

We walk with You along the road. You walk with us. Are we accompanying You or are You accompanying us? You said to be a leader, we have to serve and that there is no greater gift than to give one’s life for a friend. We do not understand all that You are saying but we are drawn to You because You are life eternal. You are the water that never dries up, You are the love that never asks anything in return. You are the compassion that each needs. You are the servant leader we long to be.

 

So what is it like to walk with you on the dirt roads? What is it like to follow You? It is a wonderful experience filled with awe and admiration as well as challenges. You healed the paralytic, You cured the leper, You asked us to feed the multitude, not by our hands, but by the readiness to do Your will. To be your disciple is to be obedient to Your will. It is to follow the inner stirrings of our hearts with the still small voice that You call us with. To be Your disciple means to listen, to listen to that voice that tells us to love without boundaries and to be compassionate as You are compassionate. To walk on the dirt roads is to acknowledge our unworthiness and by walking with You, we are cleansed. Eventually, we will be cleansed by Your blood but we have yet to get there.

 

Now, we are just talking about following You. You do not force us. You called us and we answered for ourselves. What does it mean to follow You? It means to share in Your experiences, in Your sufferings, in Your joys, in Your moments of desolation and Your moments of consolation. Following You is imitating Your way, being gentle yet firm, never compromising on the will of Your Father. Following You is walking the path of love, the love that is greater than ourselves. It is the journey to finding ourselves in Your eyes. Who are we for You and how beautiful we are. You called us because we were imperfect. You called us not because we could do something for You but because by Your love our lives will be the testament of how Your transformative love can change us. We were fishermen, we were sinners, we were tax collectors, we were prostitutes. We were all unclean like the lepers and we were all paralysed by our own sins, yet You called us. You called us so we could receive Your love and so we can pass it on. You called us so that we may touch each other’s lives as You have touched us.

 

You answered, “only through prayer” can that affliction be healed. So, we lift up in prayer our affliction and we lift up in prayer Your will, that it may be done in our lives as Your disciples. Like You prayed in Gethsemane, “Your will be done.”