secretly scary alpha-bitch girlfriend

i met up with the triumvirate yesterday. that's me and two other men from college who walked the halls as if we owned it. we got to talking about our lovelives and he confessed about his feelings about his girlfriend's ultra alpha characteristics which leaves him sighing in agreement. he coined the title. he's too nice but he's noticed how she is manhandling him and how his decisions are second-guessed and she gives ultimatums. hmm ... sounds familiar. reminds me of one of my relatives whose wife beats him and emotionally abuses him. but going back to the scary gf.

are women sometimes unaware that they are becoming alpha-bitches??? i can be classified as a feminist but i also know the boundaries in a relationship. just because your man lets you have your way doesn't give you the right to walk all over his manhood! because in reverse, you wouldn't want your identity to be trampled under a sea of abusive words, doubtful statements or controlling actions. each person has his/her dignity that should remain intact despite entering a relationship. respect is a must!

my friend, who wanted to be a priest in his former life is not a saint but he also deserves better. this girl doesn't even want to introduce him to her friends or her mother despite the mother wanting to meet him. i can only guess that she's ashamed of him. fine. i don't know the reason, but certainly, the action is suspect. what other reason is there? maybe it's too soon, maybe she's protecting him from her mom ... it could be a multitude of reason. but a "it's complicated" status on her facebook is a bit of an insult considering there is nothing complicated about the situation. in his words, "we are legit!" so, what gives?

my friend was telling us about this while defending her in earnest. he excused himself saying she was nice. but the mere fact that he's citing her actions as degrading and emasculating means that there's something essentially wrong with how she's treating him. men can usually take a lot but i don't want to generalize. i read somewhere that men usually love their women and they'd do anything for them if they can only have respect in return. at this juncture, it seems that that too is in question.

they are temporarily separated due to him going to vacation here but she also went off on vacation but didn't tell him. she expected a reporting letter each day when she herself was not capable of writing because she was off somewhere else. double standards anyone??? why expect something that you yourself can't give? a little demanding don't you think?

i don't know this gf of his but as he said she was secretly scary in an alpha-bitchy way. this fear in itself is enough cause to write this article to warn people out there that when you're in a relationship, even if you don't mean to, sometimes, there are tendencies that need to be curbed. there are behaviors that need to be adjusted because it's not a one-way but two-way relationship. if it were any other way, it would be like having a traffic enforcer with only one driver to manage. it would be unfair.

big cup of crazy or devil incarnate?

on life's journey, you meet some odd people, some odder than others, some are not just odd but just plain crazy ... i chatted recently with an SFC brother about a woman i met who claimed to be the Holy Spirit ... see the conversation below ...

10:09 PM me: hi shaun ... are you busy

pls pray for me

i don't know if i just had an oppression of sorts

Shaun: hey there..

10:10 PM whats up PA?

me: i just met someone who claimed to be the holy spirit

i thought what a big cup of crazy

i kept on repeating it in my head

coz she was speaking in scripture lsanguage but it was distorted

Shaun: where was this?

10:11 PM me: here in geneva after church

she was introduced by a common friend

who i think was skeptical of her too

Shaun: a vision, dream, apparition? walking..or sleeping?

oh..

me: i was talking to her

that's why i said ... either big cup of crazy or the devil himself

10:12 PM Shaun: she said she was the H.S?

what did she talk about?

me: she said she was the annointed one

10:13 PM yes ... she said she was the HS personified

and i said a silent prayer for her and me while we were talking

i kept repeating what a big cup of crazy and that for her to be healed if her crazy talk was borne out of some kind of traumatic experience

10:15 PM Shaun: how did your friend meet her?

me: i asked her and they said that they met in 2000

and she claimed that they were friends (this was the crazy lady) because God had wanted her friend to accommodate her when she came to switzerland because she was doing His work

10:16 PM i felt so sorry for her

she was speaking logically at times then sometimes she was just ranting

Shaun: wow... that is strange..

me: yes ... that's why i need your prayers

Shaun: most definately..

me: the prayer that we pray after a prayover

Shaun: i have never heard of that before..

me: to wash away all that i heard

Shaun: the personification of the H.S

me: yes ... it was bizaare

10:17 PM and i am glad that God gave me strength to not laugh or to just feel for her

10:18 PM Shaun: ya..cause its also kinda scary..at last for me to hear this...

I will continue prayers tonight for this person, your friend and you..

did she give any other name? ID?

me: thanks shaun

Shaun: i mean she is travelling..so she has to be using something...

10:19 PM me: grabeh ... i think you wouldn't have laughed either because she was so serious

what do you mean "using something"?

Shaun: some form of ID to travel with..

10:20 PM what do ou mean by distored srciptual language?

me: she could quote the Bible

perfectly verses and all

but like literal interpretations

10:21 PM she believes that it's her work to call the 144000 people that were supposedly saved in revelation

10:22 PM Shaun: now that wierd, cause i didnt think that was a task of the H.S, but of an archangel.. not that i know a lot of How God's kingdom works.. but the H.S has always been the true being manifested in the eternal Love of Father a d Son, a Love so real its a person..

hmmmm...

well.. lets pray for her and your safety..

what ever it is..

me: yes ... thanks shaun

Shaun: if there is truth to be told, May God grant the wisdom of the spritual truth and the knowledge of the worldy truth upon us all

10:23 PM me: worldly truth .. she used that word a lot

she used wisdom too

she said that GOd had given her wisdom and knowledge

Shaun: well, being gifts of the H.S I imagine she would mention most of them ..

me: and that it was a burden for her

10:24 PM Shaun: there's an issue right there.. for the burden would never be laid upon the Love of the Lord..

gifts from God are always good and desirable..

me: sigh ...

10:25 PM she contradicted herself

she said that she was some sort of hero

and she didn't want to die

and because she was doing God's work

Shaun: but death only exists here on earth..

me: it was okay

Shaun: so weird.. PA.. wow.. i praise God that he gave you courage for that

10:26 PM me: she said that there would be a big earthquake in california and that she could see the four corners of teh earth

yes .. me too ... i'm glad that i wasn't enveloped in the twisted package of the devil's work

or whatever it is

Shaun: so she was referring to revalation type events..

10:27 PM me: she referred to the old and new testaments

she said she had done what was written and not had followed what was written

Shaun: hmm.. well. i need to get goign to pick up one of the sfc sisters from her work and take her home.. but we'll pray for you.. and i'll talk with you more later.. May God also grant you rest and calm the child within, so that you may rest easy

me: that in reading the bible she first had to have done those deeds and that she was personified in its pages

10:28 PM Shaun: whoa..hmmm

me: thanks shaun

Shaun: no problem.. I'm here for you if you need anythig else PA.. God Bless

i'll sign on later .. we can chat if its not late for you..

10:29 PM me: ok thanks

Shaun: cya later.. be safe

10:30 PM me: yup

talking talking to donna now

will ask for her prayers too ... you just tell her the details if she ask

s

Shaun: ok..i'm calling her later to discuss..

God Bless

me: God bless too

big cup of crazy or devil incarnate?

on life's journey, you mean some odd people, some odder than others, some are just not odd but maybe plainly just crazy ... i chatted recently with an SFC brother about a woman i met who claimed to be the Holy Spirit ... see the conversation below ...

10:09 PM me: hi shaun ... are you busy

pls pray for me

i don't know if i just had an oppression of sorts

Shaun: hey there..

10:10 PM whats up PA?

me: i just met someone who claimed to be the holy spirit

i thought what a big cup of crazy

i kept on repeating it in my head

coz she was speaking in scripture lsanguage but it was distorted

Shaun: where was this?

10:11 PM me: here in geneva after church

she was introduced by a common friend

who i think was skeptical of her too

Shaun: a vision, dream, apparition? walking..or sleeping?

oh..

me: i was talking to her

that's why i said ... either big cup of crazy or the devil himself

10:12 PM Shaun: she said she was the H.S?

what did she talk about?

me: she said she was the annointed one

10:13 PM yes ... she said she was the HS personified

and i said a silent prayer for her and me while we were talking

i kept repeating what a big cup of crazy and that for her to be healed if her crazy talk was borne out of some kind of traumatic experience

10:15 PM Shaun: how did your friend meet her?

me: i asked her and they said that they met in 2000

and she claimed that they were friends (this was the crazy lady) because God had wanted her friend to accommodate her when she came to switzerland because she was doing His work

10:16 PM i felt so sorry for her

she was speaking logically at times then sometimes she was just ranting

Shaun: wow... that is strange..

me: yes ... that's why i need your prayers

Shaun: most definately..

me: the prayer that we pray after a prayover

Shaun: i have never heard of that before..

me: to wash away all that i heard

Shaun: the personification of the H.S

me: yes ... it was bizaare

10:17 PM and i am glad that God gave me strength to not laugh or to just feel for her

10:18 PM Shaun: ya..cause its also kinda scary..at last for me to hear this...

I will continue prayers tonight for this person, your friend and you..

did she give any other name? ID?

me: thanks shaun

Shaun: i mean she is travelling..so she has to be using something...

10:19 PM me: grabeh ... i think you wouldn't have laughed either because she was so serious

what do you mean "using something"?

Shaun: some form of ID to travel with..

10:20 PM what do ou mean by distored srciptual language?

me: she could quote the Bible

perfectly verses and all

but like literal interpretations

10:21 PM she believes that it's her work to call the 144000 people that were supposedly saved in revelation

10:22 PM Shaun: now that wierd, cause i didnt think that was a task of the H.S, but of an archangel.. not that i know a lot of How God's kingdom works.. but the H.S has always been the true being manifested in the eternal Love of Father a d Son, a Love so real its a person..

hmmmm...

well.. lets pray for her and your safety..

what ever it is..

me: yes ... thanks shaun

Shaun: if there is truth to be told, May God grant the wisdom of the spritual truth and the knowledge of the worldy truth upon us all

10:23 PM me: worldly truth .. she used that word a lot

she used wisdom too

she said that GOd had given her wisdom and knowledge

Shaun: well, being gifts of the H.S I imagine she would mention most of them ..

me: and that it was a burden for her

10:24 PM Shaun: there's an issue right there.. for the burden would never be laid upon the Love of the Lord..

gifts from God are always good and desirable..

me: sigh ...

10:25 PM she contradicted herself

she said that she was some sort of hero

and she didn't want to die

and because she was doing God's work

Shaun: but death only exists here on earth..

me: it was okay

Shaun: so weird.. PA.. wow.. i praise God that he gave you courage for that

10:26 PM me: she said that there would be a big earthquake in california and that she could see the four corners of teh earth

yes .. me too ... i'm glad that i wasn't enveloped in the twisted package of the devil's work

or whatever it is

Shaun: so she was referring to revalation type events..

10:27 PM me: she referred to the old and new testaments

she said she had done what was written and not had followed what was written

Shaun: hmm.. well. i need to get goign to pick up one of the sfc sisters from her work and take her home.. but we'll pray for you.. and i'll talk with you more later.. May God also grant you rest and calm the child within, so that you may rest easy

me: that in reading the bible she first had to have done those deeds and that she was personified in its pages

10:28 PM Shaun: whoa..hmmm

me: thanks shaun

Shaun: no problem.. I'm here for you if you need anythig else PA.. God Bless

i'll sign on later .. we can chat if its not late for you..

10:29 PM me: ok thanks

Shaun: cya later.. be safe

10:30 PM me: yup

talking talking to donna now

will ask for her prayers too ... you just tell her the details if she ask

s

Shaun: ok..i'm calling her later to discuss..

God Bless

me: God bless too

Going home ...

It's been nine (9) months since my last trip to Manila. It all seems like a blur. I have to store up enough leave so that I could stay a month or two.

I'm going home this year so that my family and I could finally celebrate the advent season together. It's been three years since our last Christmas together. I think this is nothing compared to the many OFWs that are abroad and are undocumented who haven't seen their families for decades for any occasion. I feel sad for them. I feel the longing but I know it's nothing compared to raising a child over the telephone.

Two years ago, I met a lady who left the Philippine Government service in search of a better opportunity abroad. She was well-educated but now she cleans houses. Recently, I saw her with a man. I know she's married but the guy had his arm around her. I thought, what's happening here? Like many OFWs who are undocumented, loneliness gets the best of them. They start "living in" with someone in a sort of acceptable marital infidelity. Everybody does it, why can't I? I love my spouse but I'm lonely are some of the excuses.

I cannot condemn this as being a single person, even I feel this loneliness abroad. Who am I to judge them? But it is a reality ...

As I go home this year even at extreme costs and for a limited period, I will try to make the most of it to honour all of those who can't come home to see their families and friends.

I honour those parents that are able to raise good children despite the distance. It takes a lot dedication to keep watch from so far away and what ultimate sacrifice is there for a parent to leave a child for that same child's future? Going home is sacrificed for a better tomorrow.

I just hope that it was all worth it. The social costs of migration has become so big that we are looking at an exponential number of broken families in the Philippines.

Mirrors of happiness

(originally drafted on 3/6/07 ... completed only today)

After two years of not going home to the Philippines, I was ecstatic to be back home. It was a cherished 13 days in dear old Manila with the hustle and bustle of city life and where meeting friends randomly becomes second nature.

I came home on February 14 to catch the best night of the UP Fair. True enough, ...

****

This has been embargoed for over eight months due to extreme busyness.

****

... it was the best night to be at UP.

It was like looking into the mirrors of the past to see the happiness that I so cherished when I was in UP. All those years of hard work but it's not just that. It's also the endless hours I spent in the tambayan (hangout) to wait for my classes and to exchange random thoughts with other UPians.

It was a place that left an impression in your heart and whenever you look in the mirror you see the product of that experience.

Coming so many years after my first year in UP (I've come back before), this was the only time I felt a bit detached. For one, I didn't know so many people. My batchmates were all on scholarships in Japan or elsewhere and I would be coming to UP to see UP and not to see my friends.

Gazing at the looking-glass of time, the outlines of the people are a bit blurry not as sharp as before but there is still the same feeling of home and excitement looking at it.

In life, we often look at our mirrors of happiness but instead of seeing the happy times, we look at the blurs. We lose sight of what the glory days held for us. We look at the advancing time and seek to recreate that time when we were at our prime.

To be stuck in that place would be tantamount to being stagnant. For people to move forward, we need to look at our mirrors of happiness as benchmarks and not as chain balls. It's what pushes us. It is what drives us to go to the future.

As I get older, it's easier to be caught in nostalgic moments. Looking at myself in the mirror, I want to see my former self. But would I be the way I am now if not for my former "glory days". No one can steal them from me. Not even the mirror of time.

So, I look at my mirrors of happiness and see the good old days. I try to look without bitterness or regret but only of nostalgia and of the hope that maybe, that same mirror will reflect today's reality.