Saturday, October 02, 2004

leaving…

1 October 2004
3:56 pm

I live near the train station here in Geneva. I see endless trains coming in and out of the city. Some are en route to France, others to Italy and many more to nearby states.

I feel like those trains – just passing through life and I’m just here for the ride. But do I really have a destination? I know trains have very limited movements often just going where the tracks lead and ending where they stop. What about me though? Do I move with the same precision and the same goal?

I find myself traveling and often having revelations in each country I stay in, but what purpose do they serve? Do they really make an impact on my life or do I just move on to the next destination, dropping everything as I go. After all, a train leaves even if a certain passenger gets on or not. The world doesn’t stop for one person.

Why am I always traveling and I can’t seem to grow roots? Why am I comfortable living out of a suitcase as if I’m ready to run away? Do I want to run away? Run away from what? Are life’s complexities too hard to deal with that a getaway train is the solution?

Let’s just say I’m having an existential crisis. It’s not the first and certainly, it’s not the last!


1 comment:

tintin said...

Your thoughts are profound.. it's not like I can give you any advice on your existential crisis cos who am I to do that? :) but.. well, i just wanted to say that you're really lucky your train goes through wide tracks and the world's become a network of rails and stations for you. Some people don't even get past their station, some break down even before their train leaves the platform. :) kay it's fast becoming a fuddle of metaphors here but I really hope that somewhere along the way you'll find a certain train stop where people who love you are eagerly awaiting your arrival... All aboard! *toot toot* :)