Tuesday, October 19, 2004

“I have a virgin heart.”

This was what my mom said one lunch time… It was quite an original piece of thought. I never imagined virginity applying to the heart. I always thought it was a physical thing. But I got what she meant. Her heart has never really been in love.

Is my heart a virgin one too? I got to thinking…or more aptly…are most people’s heart’s virgins? Do we actually learn to love? And when we love, is it penetrating that it pierces our souls?

I thought maybe I had been in love more than four times in my life. But some were fleeting and the others were just imagined. Some were also true. So, how can we tell if we've earned the moniker "non-virgin heart"? When is love so true that you end up breaking the proverbial "hymen"? Or is it when it actually is broken that we know we've been in love? Do we need to have a broken heart to know that we have loved?

It would be presumptuous to say and not accurate if I say that maybe we should feel that it should be broken first before we know if it’s true. Can love be reduced to such dialectic? Does the logic follow – a heart is in love if it can only be broken? Or perhaps, the heart must be amenable to levels of “breakage” to be considered “non-virgin”?

There is also the argument…virginity is a state of mind, whether physical or emotional. Can we revert to a second virginity when the “first” experience passes but does not meet our expectations? How many virginities can there be?

Whatever the number, whatever the physical or emotional state…a first…is a first but love can only be dictated by the heart. When the heart feels it has loved, it ceases to be a virgin. And when it is broken, it is just a testimony that it is no longer “untouched.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

---sex, the most important thing, it seems, to society today.---

I read in a book once, that even though physical virginity is lost; a type of 'second virginity' can be acheived, in this case the state of mind that you're talking about. I've also heard stories of christian girls getting through this 'lost virginity'. They talked about feeling like they were new virgins.

I 've always wondered, in a christian sense, what the signifigance of virginity going into marriage meant. Furthermore, I wonder where the conception of marriage being a ceremony came from. ( I know marriage is surely something to be celebrated. Don't get me wrong. ) In the first book of the bible, it explains the union of marriage of adam and eve. It doesnt mention any ceremony though.

I'm a 'naturalist', you might say. I always want to know the most natural way to go about doing something. To me, that's the best way.

and on the last note my dear, how many virginities can there be? In my opinion, to no end.