Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Madali ka ma-disappoint (You're easily disappointed)

That's what my friend told me today when I was venting about how another friend's prospective job might not pull through. I took offence for a while, kept to myself, pondered about what she said. I felt a bit slighted but my friend and I have been through a lot so I chose to act “normal”. This is what Bo Sanchez recommended when there has been a misunderstanding and you just want things to be as normal as possible. Act normal and feel later and sooner or later your feelings will follow your actions.

I was simply venting and I just wanted to be heard. I didn't really expect a chastisement or scolding as such. But she did have a point. After she said that line, she added: Trust in God and you will not be disappointed. Know that He has better plans.

Yes, I know that in my head and in my heart. It was just in that moment in time, I doubted. I doubted like Peter. I doubted like Thomas. When has God ever let me or my loved ones down? I don't recall any real let-down. The answer has always been clear: Yes, No, Not now. Sometimes, I choose to see between the lines. Well, so much for looking between the lines. What is in between is the fact that God is so good, He or She (International Women's Day is soon here :)), knows what we already need before opening our mouths and He or She will give it if it is what is best for us. Nothing less and sometimes surprisingly more.

As I reflected today with the help of OPM (Original Pilipino Music) and the concentration to work like my life depended on it got me smiling. I became very happy and my feelings of hurt turned into love. Love for my friend whom I know said that because she wanted me to be appeased that God will never let me down. Love for the people that dare to show love. Love for the people that appreciate the little things I do. Love, love, love. The love of God that is all around to feel and to share.

So, my not so disappointed self started smiling – at everything. I might have looked a bit crazy to some people. But I appreciated as I always do the little things – a smile, a plant, two friends talking, people helping and showing random acts of kindness. I smiled at the collection of photos of the people at work in our organization. I smiled as I walked home. I smiled at the air that was going through my body.

Thank you Lord for giving me my friend who reminded me that I should never be disappointed with you or what life has laid down before me. You have better plans – plans for a future full of hope. The verse of Jeremiah 29:11 is forever etched into my heart.

I leave it at the foot of the Cross. We will soon be welcoming you into Jerusalem with palms only to crucify you a few days later.

Look not on our sins but on the faith of your Church – that's what we say at Sunday mass. Yes, Lord, look not at our inability to fathom your plans and the errors we make. Look at our faithfulness and the hope that we put in You because only You know the plans for our lives.

This Lent, may we never be disappointed by the experiences and challenges that come our way. May we welcome them as a sign of your unfailing love and your trust in us.

Jesus I trust in You.


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