Sunday, December 23, 2007

secretly scary alpha-bitch girlfriend

i met up with the triumvirate yesterday. that's me and two other men from college who walked the halls as if we owned it. we got to talking about our lovelives and he confessed about his feelings about his girlfriend's ultra alpha characteristics which leaves him sighing in agreement. he coined the title. he's too nice but he's noticed how she is manhandling him and how his decisions are second-guessed and she gives ultimatums. hmm ... sounds familiar. reminds me of one of my relatives whose wife beats him and emotionally abuses him. but going back to the scary gf.

are women sometimes unaware that they are becoming alpha-bitches??? i can be classified as a feminist but i also know the boundaries in a relationship. just because your man lets you have your way doesn't give you the right to walk all over his manhood! because in reverse, you wouldn't want your identity to be trampled under a sea of abusive words, doubtful statements or controlling actions. each person has his/her dignity that should remain intact despite entering a relationship. respect is a must!

my friend, who wanted to be a priest in his former life is not a saint but he also deserves better. this girl doesn't even want to introduce him to her friends or her mother despite the mother wanting to meet him. i can only guess that she's ashamed of him. fine. i don't know the reason, but certainly, the action is suspect. what other reason is there? maybe it's too soon, maybe she's protecting him from her mom ... it could be a multitude of reason. but a "it's complicated" status on her facebook is a bit of an insult considering there is nothing complicated about the situation. in his words, "we are legit!" so, what gives?

my friend was telling us about this while defending her in earnest. he excused himself saying she was nice. but the mere fact that he's citing her actions as degrading and emasculating means that there's something essentially wrong with how she's treating him. men can usually take a lot but i don't want to generalize. i read somewhere that men usually love their women and they'd do anything for them if they can only have respect in return. at this juncture, it seems that that too is in question.

they are temporarily separated due to him going to vacation here but she also went off on vacation but didn't tell him. she expected a reporting letter each day when she herself was not capable of writing because she was off somewhere else. double standards anyone??? why expect something that you yourself can't give? a little demanding don't you think?

i don't know this gf of his but as he said she was secretly scary in an alpha-bitchy way. this fear in itself is enough cause to write this article to warn people out there that when you're in a relationship, even if you don't mean to, sometimes, there are tendencies that need to be curbed. there are behaviors that need to be adjusted because it's not a one-way but two-way relationship. if it were any other way, it would be like having a traffic enforcer with only one driver to manage. it would be unfair.

2 comments:

tintin said...

haha. power struggle is everywhere.

i didn't know there were wives who beat their husbands.

P.A. said...

it's not common but it exists, unfortunately. i know of a battered husband. makes you really wonder if we are all created equal ...