Tuesday, December 07, 2010

happy birthday papa.

i put a stop at the end because papa is no longer with us in this life. today, he would have been 54.

i don't know much about my father except through the stories that his siblings have told me. i knew a different side of him. i wish i had known him when he was younger so that i could see what he went through.

i feel that my father went through a lot of hardships. mamu said he started working at the age of 7 and subsequently became a scholar of the priests. he was able to finish school and even enter law school. it was there that he and mamu met.

and they both had to stop because our eldest sibling was conceived.

my knowledge of papa was limited to his anger, his paranoia and the abuses he had done to us. but i also reflect on the sweet moments when i would go fishing with him. i love fishing and he did too. it was what we shared in common. he was also a great disciplinarian and we have him to thank for our good manners. papa was also our biggest fan during his moments of sobriety. he would scream at the top of his lungs at mcdonalds at the end of every term that his children were the best and he was proud of us and we were top of the class. i loved it when he treated us to mcdo and made us feel like we were the best children in the world.

i think we have him to thank for great faith too. i always thank God that papa had that effect on us. and i hope because of that, papa would make it to heaven. his life on earth was very difficult. although we tried to share in the journey, he preferred to go on his way alone. i hope that he is now resting at the lap of our Papa in heaven.

happy birthday papa.

2 comments:

Cindy said...

Wabi-Sabi
Japanese – Much has been written on this Japanese concept, but in a sentence, one might be able to understand it as “a way of living that focuses on finding beauty within the imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay.” (Altalang.com)

P.A. said...

thanks ate cindy. sabi nga ng uncle ko about papa: he just wanted what all of us wanted, to be loved and to love, he just had difficulty expressing it. :)