hesitant writer

didn't feel like writing down my thoughts today partly because it's 3 a.m. now and i'm the only one awake. but i had to write. didn't want to miss out on writing today's events plus the rain is so conducive for a budding writer's creativity.

after the rude awakening on thursday, i had written quite a lot in my blog. i tried to sleep early but i had to let out all the venom last night. i slaved away in front of the pc to relax until 2:30 a.m. there's something very comforting about a keyboard being hit. it has a calming effect.

so, i met friday with a bit of hesitation and fear from the tyrant official. he was already texting me while i was on my way to work. the bus i was riding was an old bus. i sat down next to a vietnamese lady who didn't want to sit beside the window. little did i know that she had a baby in a stroller. it would usually be parked on the middle of the bus where the disabled would have fold out chairs. so, i sat on the seat looking out the window thinking about the previous day's drama...UNTIL...the bus made a fast sharp turn which sent the stroller tumbling down with the baby still strapped in her seat. i didn't notice the sharp curve till i heard the mother scream, "porquoi" (why?) the baby had already made contact with the floor. the passengers at the back were alerted but only one lady helped pick up the stroller. i followed suit while the mother frantically tried to unhook the straps of the stroller which had kept her baby alive. the child did not even cry as her head swelled and a bruise on her left forehead was beginning to show. a thin but long scratch across her forehead was evident. the mother was muttering and held her baby close.

the driver stopped at the next stop and came up to the mother. he didn't even say sorry. he said something in french like he would call the authorities and help will come. i didn't really understand the exchange of words. the driver went back to his seat and called the authorities. the mother was going to talk to the driver but a lady prevented her and said, "just sit down." i think she was just worried about being late. that same lady instructed everyone to get off the bus since there would be a delay.

so, i walked a mere 7 minutes to the office. as this happened, i was more determined not to have an encore to thursday's drama. i thought life is too short. if the official would subject me to that kind of treatment again, i will respectfully tell him not to do it again as it is very impolite and unbecoming of him to act in that manner.

i spent the morning fixing his schedule. he kept texting and i kept texting him his schedule. he must have a faulty memory or a faulty phone since he asked for his schedule twice. on the third time, he asked his driver to call me to ask for the schedule again. there must be something wrong.

it was good he wasn't in the office. i had a sense of freedom. but the accident in the morning was playing on my psyche. it was really traumatic and i don't like seeing people cry, much less because a baby was hurt. it was very sad. it's good though that the baby was saved. hopefully, there is no permanent damage to the skull.

like most girls do, i found a friend in the toilet and cried silently in the bathroom.

the workday ended so quickly and much was done but fear of tomorrow comes. what on monday or tuesday will the office hold? will the official again try to trample on my dignity? shall i stand up to him? time will tell.

for now, i end with a semi-heavy heart.

a lonely heart pines for its sweet love.